Sunday, October 24, 2010
Sistahs, I think one of the greatest gifts in life is to be generous. With generosity you open up doors of opportunity. A small act could influence an outcome that you are not currently aware of - a future event could actually depend on it. We live in a dual world - on one hand our lives depend very much on the energy we put out. The actions we take shape and mold our lives. On the other hand, we are fueled by the energy coming towards us - that energy gives us the means in which to carry on with our mission.
I notice that many Sistahs are depleted AND I include myself in that situation sometimes. I went to a workshop last week and a man mentioned "compassion fatigue", a situation where you no longer have the energy to even care - where injustice could get the upper hand because you are depleted - there is no more to give to ANYONE. As Wombyn we are natural nurturers - we are even biologically set-up to give - we have a womb to carry a child, breast to give milk and blood to give back to the earth. In a patriarchal society many wombyn are taught that they need to be of service - this is their role - you cook, clean, organize, take care of - at work, at home, in your place of worship, etc... You are worried about this person's problem and that person's problem. You find yourself up at night talking on the phone to people about their problems and trying to solve it all. Where are you?
Remember, energy has to be put out... We can't just sit around and do nothing in life (right??). I am naturally generous, I give often without expecting anything in return - for me that is ok AND I find that I am often in a place where I have to just take a longggg break. I can literally drop off the face of the earth to re-charge. I am beginning to realize that this feast or famine attitude does not work for me - I need more of a balance in life.
Sistahs, if you are feeling depleted or just tired of being tired. Look at your ratio of energy out put to input. Meaning, what situations/people are taking a lot of your energy but not really offering much back. I exclude children from this equation but if they are "grown ass adults" maybe not. With spouses and partners you hope for 50/50 but there are just those times when it is more of 60/40 but lets hope that at times there is flexibility to take either position.
Business wise, are you giving away more that what you are getting back? Reciprocity is not difficult. I mean a small action could be a generous gesture. In business, when you partner with someone, does the partnership leave you depleted? When you promote a person's project do they reciprocate? Do they offer to promote your business as well or send you customers?
We also have to realize that the larger issue of feeling depleted is that we may have feelings that we are not worthy of any reciprocity. We may feel as if what we offer is not WORTHY of respect and VALUABLE. Don't put yourself on sale! Don't lower the value of what you are doing and offering. Your time is worth A LOT! If you close your eyes and think of all the things you could do with 2 extra hours a day - what kind of value would you give those hours? What if in those 2 hours you could finish writing your book that would bring you an extra $10,000 of income. Wow, those 2 hours suddenly become very valuable you may not want to spend that time talking to Betty Sue about her boyfriend's mama's problems. They may be able to read your future book and get the help they need!
Again, this is about energy not selfishness. Being SELF-CENTERED - focused on your goals, mission and output is NOT selfish, it is wise. Many people do not expect for Sistahs to feel this way about themselves -some don't even expect for us to have our own dreams, mission and goals but we got to break the mold of that expectation.
Posted by Camara Meri Rajabari at 12:59 PM
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sistahs, I just recently conducted a sample survey of women from the Wombyn Studies membership to get a feeling for Sistah's attitudes regarding money, finances and prosperity. The results indicated that while many of us are fulfilled with our work we do not feel in control of our financial life. There are many external factors that can contribute to a Sistah struggling financially but at some point she must decide to become the victor and fight for what she deserves. In fact, developing a financial plan and clearing away the cob webs of debt and lack is number one on my list. I have fasted and cleaned out my body now there is another frontier for me to conqueror (yes, I am using war terms) and that is MONEY. I actually will not conquer the money but all those obstacles - mostly self made that prevent me from being a wealthy wombyn.
I have said it! YES, my goal is to be wealthy - self-made, financially independent and philanthropic Wombynaire! A Wombynaire is a Wombyn that has integrated all parts of her Goddess-self to achieve the highest of height! This task requires me to be focused and unfettered in my mind. I have seen people who are like this- goal oriented and very pointed in their process.
I read an article the other day of a research study that shows that single, head of household Black women have the net worth of $5.00! Yes, you read correct $5.00 (five) dollars!!! When I first heard of this article some wonderful "community spin-doctors" (people who pose as intellectual community advocates who sit around and spin the reality of a community - pretending they know it all, lol) on facebook where stating that Black Wombyn are the blame for their situation and that they needed to stop being "independent" and get a husband. The funny part is that the article said that when a Black Wombyn is married her network is about a little over $31k. I thought to myself "31k isn't enough for me to marry someone for a hike in net worth!" I actually felt so insulted by the men and women who were engaged in this senseless conversation - as if their suggestion/solution had any real merit!
Sistahs, some people just think we deserve the crumbs! That you should be happy with what you get. Sistahs, don't believe that crap! If anything, when I read this article I got super motivated to corrected some things in my life AND I was a little T'd off because I had worked so hard for so long like other Sistahs struggling to support their children and somebody says "$5.00 filthy dollars!" Yes, we are more than money but word "worth" in this society seems to be synonymous financial success. Financial stress and "failure" can cause illness, can break up relationships and is probably the leading cause of depression. The reality is in this society, the way it is now - you need money as a tool to help build a solid foundation.
There are so many people who hate what I just said, but Sistahs take a long hard look at your situation. A whole Wombyn - confident in who she is- aware that she comes from a long line of strong Wombyn should not carry the burden of financial chaos because of what others may think! In fact, being aligned with the Divine Feminine means you have tapped into the inner workings of the Great Mother as your source for abundance. You know if you put a seed in her soil she grows and multiples it. As Wombyn our bodies are also living examples of multiplication in action...
Today, my feelings were strong about a plan to eliminate financial struggles in my life and the lives of other Sistahs I know. I have seen too many dreams deferred. I called up one of my Sistah friends because she is always in a place of action and I remember her mentioning that she working in the wealth realm. I spoke with her and she directed me to some sources. We also talked about the universal movement for Wombyn to re-remember their power in all aspects of their lives - this most definitely includes finances!
I urge all Wombyn to get that relationship with your money going. Face the ugly truths in your financial house and start a cleanse. I have debts to pay, too. With clarity and courage the tool of money does not rule the master - instead the master is wise enough to use her tool correctly.
Join me in Wombyn Studies' Money and Prosperity Circle.
Peace and Hugs,
Posted by Camara Meri Rajabari at 11:18 PM
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Caribbean woman by Madiha Yearwood
In this life may I know directly the nature of my being...
Sistahs, there are many things that have held me back and the I think biggest have been my fear of the unknown - yet we live the unknown each day. Even the greatest psychic can not know what tomorrow brings for herself and in reality others. The universe is constantly changing. Last Sunday the forecast said all days had great weather except for Wednesday - this day it will rain. Even on the tv news the meteorologist said "I will tell you which areas will be wet by Wednesday, next on five!" I woke up thinking I should have put some of my items away on my patio but to my delight it was sunny - in fact the day was very beautiful - warm. Even with all the technologies and predictors, each day is a new day - the outcome of that day unique from those days before. This is why fear of change is not very realistic.
Sistahs, knowing our own nature is the key to a successful life - a life that feeds your soul and allows you to grow and expand. I had been feeling a bit "oh um" lately and I realize that I have not been doing my art. I need the act of creation in my life. Arts allows us to build with our hands and co-create with what is around us. It exercises that creation muscle - which in many us keeps of from going crazy in a world that tries to convince everyone that they have to be the same -conform and never dream.
Sistahs, dream awake (as Astarius says) BIG BEAUTIFUL DREAMS and if they come out different then THAT was CHANGE! That is our nature.
Peace and Hugs,
Posted by Camara Meri Rajabari at 1:46 PM