Monday, April 7, 2008

Self Determination

Lately, I have been planting seeds. I have just been spreading them around in my garden and like most "farmers" I am have an expectation to see those seeds sprout and produce. That is very much like life. Throughout our days we plant seeds into the fertile ground of our lives. If we are conscious of it then we give all of our energy to nourishing those seeds. We water them, add nutrients to their soil and make sure they get plenty of sunlight. I believe we are farmers of consciousness - what ever we plant today we will see sprout tomorrow.
Imagine we are the seed. We have been planted by a Great Farmer who plowed the earth and placed us into the soil. We were given the Sun and the Moon light as energy, we were given oceans as our water source and food for our nourishment. Having everything necessary the Great Farmer knows that we will sprout - that we will grow and develop. Although I think much of this process is innate there are some seeds that do not sprout. Why is this? They have all of the nourishment the others have had...I think it is the sprout's act of Self-Determination. It is that part of each seedling that continues to push through the soil regardless of its heaviness. Everyday it pushes upward because something inside of it says "this is the way - this way we grow to our fullest potential." Trusting its coding or trusting our own inner instructions, we push through this dark place to light. From there we grow even taller and we produce.
A friend who is a midwife said, "Being born is a person's first act of Self-Determination". Outside of a planned c-section, a baby decides at which moment it will emerge from the womb. Of course, nature will say it has nine months but it does not dictate the actual day - that is because the baby must choose this time - it must push through its dark, warm and comforting environment into another world. To be healthy we must go through cycles of Self-Determination. We must continue to be born again into new experiences - new worlds. This is how we grew and expand. We must be careful of processes that do not allow us to grow - that don't allow us to seek sunlight. Inside us we know when our flower is dying...our lives seem mundane and hollow... we seem like we are on a continuous treadmill going nowhere. The trap is to believe something is wrong with you - its not that. Its simply your soul pointing it that this way is not working. That "this way" is not pushing you through the soil.
Self-Determination can appear to be a lot of work. It can appear as if nothing is really happening - especially when we try and we still have not broken through - but each time we try we are making a way. Don't give up. Don't surrender.
Sistah C


K. Koje said...

Here is an experience I will share with you: During my stay in New York I would often go on long treks through neighborhoods I hadn't seen. While this was a risky thing to do in the late seventies it helped that I was more likely to be the bogeyman than anybody I encountered and even cops were a bit nervous when we met on the street. That is what sometimes gets black males shot in urban areas, the police fear us deep down inside. In any case, I often wandered into dilapidated sections of the city, whether in Queens, Harlem, the Bronx or Rockaway. I would notice how often green vegetation would grow through the cracks in pavement, often lifting the pavement as it grew. Not a phenomenon that happens overnight but one you can observe nontheless.

I pondered this. Was it a matter of the plant breaking through the pavement or was it simply seeking light and finding the open route up through the crack in the pavement. Did the seed drop there and begin to grow? Ultimately the answer was a and b. Then one day, I stopped in my tracks.

I remember this so clearly even now. I was in Queens.
The houses were abandoned, the growth reminded me of ancient temples in India and South America overgrown by the jungle. All the normal process. But right there in front of me was an anomaly. At least for me it was. I was looking at a solid block of pavement with no cracks in it. Smooth and seamless as the day it was m ade. But growing up through it was a plant. What? Most likely dandelion. There was a lot of it around. But this tender shoot had grown through an otherwise impenetrable barrier. There were no crack lines leading away from it. It had simply passed through. It was so tender I could have shredded it with ease. Yet it was so powerful it had passed through concrete to reach the sun. There is nothing more powerful than the power of the urge to be.

Sistah C said...

Hey Ken,
Do you have a physical picture of that? Would love to see it and post it with your permission. Funny, I could not "find" and image yesterday that really fit this post and you did provide one. Nature is definitely one of our most powerful teachers.
Sistah C

K. Koje said...

I actually did have pictures of it for a long time. Lost everything I had in storageduring hurricane Andrew.