Saturday, December 29, 2007


Artist: unknown to me. The Haitian Revolution.

You know it is necessary to love who you are - it just the basics of life 101. If you don't love yourself then life is hard because you go around trying to find someone to love you and how can they really do that if you don't love yourself??? If you hate yourself why would others think you want something different for yourself? I met this brotha before who basically hated himself - I think he never really got the love and nurturing he needed as a child or something - but early on he convinced himself that as long as he was in a relationship with someone he was lovable. Now sometimes this would work but most of the time the person he would get involved with could not give him enough to make him feel OK with himself - so like an addict he would crave more and more - so much more that energetically he was literally sucking the life out of his relationships. Most of the time his relationships would end on a horrible note because people don't want to exchange their life force for craziness...Now, I knew this sistah who also didn't love herself - maybe early on she got messages that she was not good enough, never pretty enough, smart but not smart enough - basically she had a complex. She developed a philosophy early on that as long as a person wanted to be with her she was pretty enough, smart enough and good enough. Well, like the story above with the brotha it is also sad. Every time someone gave her attention she would think they cared about her - every time someone wanted to have sex with her, she thought they loved her and was validating that she was some body -finally!! Only after the sex mellowed out she realized her relationships ended - often in hateful, disrespectful ways -as if the person never really cared about her...So she would strike out again looking for someone to help her believe she was somebody - sometimes it didn't matter if they were married, abusive and just apathetic-she just wanted someone to love her since she couldn't really love herself...
If you don't love yourself then how can you love anyone else? How can you do the work that needs to be done for yourself, your family and your community? I have conversations, go to discussions about organizing our people all the time and it always comes down to this - the African's first revolution is on the inside - the first war you got to fight is the one in your consciousness. It does not mean that we are excused from all other tasks but if those tasks are to be for our best benefit it means that we got heal our mentacide. It is a life long battle that you can never 100% be sure you have won...that is why you can't sleep on it...some of us think well, I changed this about myself (name, clothes, food, etc...) I must be healed. My theory is that we will know we are healed when it is demonstrated that we as a people have restored ourselves to our rightful place in this world order. Until that time constant work is required. Until things really change on this planet there is work to do. A degree does not mean you made it, a house, a car, writing a book, becoming a minister, having a following and so on... does not mean you have healed - only when the world is a JUST place for us to freely be our divine selves can we say that we have done what needs to be done. We are all in a process- dealing with years of oppression and untangling the chains of mental slavery is tough work- from time to time expect to be on the "hot seat". Remember to be humble, be generous, be kind and be accountable.

DAY 21 (write it down, meditate on it and journal your thoughts)
21. The Creator/God is lavish, unfailing Abundance, the rich omnipresent substance of the Universe. This all providing Source of infinite prosperity is individualized as me — the Reality of me.