After some powerful weeks of wo-manifestation in the area of work, career and wealth building last week everything came to a slow crawl. I was still doing what I was doing a few weeks ago but the results this week seemed to be hidden. The same thing happened to me a month ago and this time I didn't freak out - instead I decided to do something different and just watch myself. I was like an anthropologist studying myself in my own environment. I watched carefully as I would stress over a perceived lack of something, I would see myself wanting to close down, judge myself and others or I would watch myself try to "hold on" to the "little" I perceived I had.
I now know through careful observation that working to free my consciousness of blocks of limitation and lack is a full time job. I will admit that I was raised to let lack drive my need to succeed in life - to use fear of "not having enough" as a motivator. This formula on how to live was not passed down out of malicious intent but out of survival however it goes against the natural law of the Creator which is divine abundance. Everything about who we are signals that we are born with the full blessing of prosperity - if this was not the case we would not be living right here in this moment.
Tonite, it came to me that I had not been feeding one of my internal flowers - the flower of creativity. I had been so engrossed in "making dollars and doing business" that I realized that the things that meant a lot to me were suffering. It took Mother's Day to realize that Spirit was asking me to slow down to be present in my motherhood and my creativity. You see motherhood is the powerful expression of the Creator Goddess/God's power of creativity expressed through us...If you have ever given birth before you know what it is like to look down at your newborn and be in awe of the miracle of giving birth. I am not sure if there is anything like this experience?
For weeks I had been burning rubber - going to meetings here and there. One night after meeting some friends from out of town my car broke down. I knew it was not a serious thing about the car because it happened right at a signal light in front of gas station with tow truck right behind me -what are the chances of all of this happening at once?? So, I spoke with Spirit and said "Ok, you want me to stay home. So, what is there at home I need to do?" Immediately, I thought it was some unfinished business project but no - because suddenly all my clients could not work on their projects because of various personal reasons. I sat back and thought "Ok, what do I need to do?" Then I got on the phone and tried to grow my business by getting more clients but this like wading through thick mud...Finally, I got it was not business. The whole time I had been crazy on my business my son kept coming in my office and saying, "Mom, I want this or Mom, I was thinking about this..." and sadly as I realized that I had been telling my son, "Not now! I am busy." OR "Let me just finish this." OR "Just make yourself something to eat, I have to get this done."
It was clear that Spirit was like "WAKE UP!" It was like I need this clarity to realize that what was missing was being fully present in my son's life and that IS true prosperity - not running after dollars 24 hours a day. Yes, I need to work but there is a thing called balance. As single parent I have this "old story" that I have to sacrifice because I am a one parent household - so I can't do this or that...but tonite I watched this clip from Lisa Nichols (I posted it to the right in Sistah Media on the blog). In the clip she was working with a Sistah who wanted to make some deep changes in her life. At one point Lisa gives her a poster board with the work Success written on it and she places it in the Sistah's hands. Lisa then explains to her that sometimes things, conditions come along that try to distract us from our true success and at the same time Lisa attempts to grab the board from the Sistah. Soon the two are in a tug-of-war and the Sistah has to fight to keep that "Success" in her hands. It was so what I needed to witness that it brought tears to my eyes. I realized that I had allowed an old story about circumstances surrounding my son's father and me being a single parent to strangle my financial success AND the TRUTH IS this person, this condition HAS ABSOLUTELY NO POWER OVER ME OR MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SON -nor will it ever! The best parent I can be is one that is PRESENT with my child - regardless of appearances. To be a complete, loving presence in my son's life is the true GIFT of prosperity I could give him.
Michael Beckwith says, "Challenges come up because they are opportunities for growth." If our lives didn't throw us a curve ball now and then how would we know when we had to work on something within ourselves? It is a constant practice to work from within...I am reminded of affirmation #10 of the 40 day Prosperity Plan
I keep my mind and thoughts off "this world" and I place my entire focus on God within as the only Cause of my prosperity. I acknowledge the Inner Presence as the only activity in my financial affairs, as the substance of all things visible. I place my faith in the Principle of Abundance in action within me.
So Sistahs, this is my long winded way of saying HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY and to remind us to remember the gifts of motherhood. If you have not given birth to a child you still are a Mother of Dreams and Creations. Spend Mother's Day with your creations and give thanks.